The Conversation No One Wants to Have

March 19th, 2009

I was watching the news tonight and the sad story of the death of Natasha Richardson was in the headlines. A doctor who was interviewed said one good thing that may come of this tragedy is that people will be more aware of the importance of wearing a helmet when participating in sports.

I think there’s some other good that may come of this. No one wants to talk about their own demise, but it’s so important to let your loved ones know what your health care wishes are in the event that you can’t speak for yourself. There are two documents that everyone should have – a Living Will and a Health Care Proxy. A Living Will states what your medical wishes are in the event that you can’t speak for yourself – do you want to be put on a ventilator, be an organ donor, etc. A Health Care Proxy names the person you want to make your healthcare decisions for you if you are unable.

Most of us are afraid to imagine our own death and talk about it with our friends and family. It’s so very important, though. What if you were seriously injured and the physician told your family that there was no hope of survival and asked if you should be removed from a ventilator? Would you want your loved ones to have to agonize over that decision? I can’t imagine anyone who would.

Think about what you want – it doesn’t matter. These are YOUR wishes. It’s OK if you want to be kept alive, no matter what. It’s also OK if you want someone to let you go. The most important thing is to put it in writing and to pick a person you trust to follow your wishes. Some states have these documents on-line that you can print and fill out – check with your state health department.

Some may argue that these documents aren’t iron clad. Sure, anything can be argued in court. You can have a well-meaning relative who complicates things, but, more often, these documents are followed and are a relief to those left behind.

In the US, it seems we’re afraid to talk about dying & death. In other cultures, it’s considered a natural part of the circle of life. It’s not the happiest thing to talk about, but it’s so important to be honest. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give the people you love.

Where did Customer Service go???

March 18th, 2009

Old-fashioned. Fuddy-duddy. Picayune. Some may say that about me after they read this. My question today? Whatever happened to good customer service? I think it died the day the phone company started using a menu that takes a caller a half an hour to get to a human being.

I recently had an experience at my local drug store that left me stupefied at the lack of customer service the young cashier demonstrated as I was checking out. Now, hold on, I’m not just blaming the twenty-something generation. I think we’ve all dropped the ball along the way and, in general, our country has just gotten, well, more impatient and down right mean over the last twenty years. I want life today to be like it was in the movies from the 1940s and 1950s - neighbors helped neighbors, people smiled at each other when they passed on the street, and there was actually a sales person who worked in the hat department – and they could tell your hat size just by looking at you!

There are times, I know, when providing good customer service is frustrating. I had the experience on several occasions when I was working as a Manager of department in a hospital of being challenged by the family of patients who needed help. At one point, I was asked by a very irate “customer” who didn’t get the response he desired if I “had my head up my ass.” Was it hard not to yell back at him? You betcha. But I didn’t. I maintained my professionalism – he didn’t apologize and I was steamed for a while afterward, but at least I could say that I was the adult in our conversation.

Maybe it just boils down to the fact that we’re all so self-absorbed that we’ve forgotten how to be courteous. My parents were depression-era kids. My Mom worked for the Telephone Company in the 1950s – she traveled to different business and taught classes on how to provide good customer service over the phone. Can you imagine?

Tomorrow, I have to call my credit card company with a question. I dread it. I know I’ll be on the phone for at least fifteen minutes. And only about two of those will be with a real human being. I also have to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, but there’s only so much rejection I can handle in one day.

United Women

March 17th, 2009

I have to say, I’m not surprised by the recent comments Laura Ingraham made about a blog entry that Meghan McCain wrote.  Disappointed, yes, but not surprised. Why is it women persist on “eating their own”, as they say?  I respect Ms. McCain.  She could have rested on her laurels and used her father’s name to get into great bars in Phoenix, but, instead, she’s trying to educate her generation on the ideology of the Republican party.  And, the response from Ms. Ingraham?  Not to disagree with Ms. McCain’s opinion on other members of the Republican party.   No, instead, Laura Ingraham accuses Meghan McCain of being an airhead and insults her dress size.   Is that really constructive?  And, more importantly, what does it prove?

 

I’m hoping that, in my lifetime, I see a time when women can speak with and disagree with each other intelligently without degrading the discussion with cattiness and personal attacks.  Granted, there are some outstanding women out there who’ve devoted much of their lives to bringing women together in support and friendship – I know because a couple of them are my friends.  But, sadly, there are still some of us who, instead of providing an anchor in a storm for other women in need, choose to turn into the meanest coral reef you’ve ever seen.

 

So, I ask the women of the world, in the spirit of love and support, please be kind to one another.  In a world where young girls only have celebrity role models, isn’t it time that the rest of us raised the bar to show our young women that the “average” adult female can be spectacular?  Before you criticize someone’s shoes, dress, skirt length, makeup, hairstyle or jewelry again, STOP.  Smile and say something positive.  Be somebody’s role model.